2005
11.28

seriously smiling

So at 5weeks and 3days we have seen Thomas’ first real smile. He smiled at his bedstemor at breakfast, twice – a big smiley grin in response to the sort of conversation only grandparents can hold with babies.

He doesn’t smile at mum though. After much effort he just about managed a half smile at me, but he smiled at grandad as well. Bedstemor pointed out that really I was just the food trolley, whereas they were the entertainment. Thinking about it like this makes a lot of sense. I don’t often smile at our fridge.

We also tried to weigh him on the kitchen scales, and came up with 4.2kg, though I’m not going to confirm this until we have put it on the chart, as it seems like an awful lot to me! Though, I’m not complaining if he is!

2005
11.23

joys of parenthood

So, it’s easy, given my perfectionist, worry-ist nature to dwell on all the bad parts of being a mum, and generally bring myself down with the “GOD I’M SO TIRED” and “I don’t know if I’m doing this right” and “why is everything so difficult!?”.

So this evening it was really wonderful to be able to read to my son a story I’ve been looking forward to reading to my offspring for many years. I read him the first half of “The Butterfly that Stamped” by Rudyard Kipling, and only stopped because it had sent him off to sleep. It was one of those wonderful warm moments.

I hope Thomas didn’t mind the unintentional wobbly voice, as I can’t read some of the paragraphs without getting emotional. (Must be the hormones) 😉

Just So Stories

2005
11.21

fathernurture

So on Saturday David fed Thomas for the first time, with some expressed milk. It was an emotional moment.

burping

Also, the three of us went out together for the first time on Saturday, though it obviously didn’t make dad any less grumpy…

dadcarrier

2005
11.15

new mode of transport

So, one of the new things we are learning is how to get out and about. Here we are:

babycarrier

He seems to quite like it in there, though he’s still a bit too little for it, so we didn’t go very far this time.

Also, just wanted to post a cute picture of him in the clothes Jan and Lisbeth sent to us. Am in the process of printing off a copy to include in a “Thank you” card, but as with all things computery, there are complications… hopefully resolved tonight when our computer-knight in shining armour gets home from work… 😉

janlisbethclothes

2005
11.14

24days old

So I have been meaning to try to write down some of the experiences of the beginning of Thomas’ life before I forget them, but every day is so packed that I cannot remember what it was like. I’m gutted that so many really strong feelings have been forgotten.

However a couple of things that I can remember, possibly because they were not directly to do with me, but did raise a lump in my throat, which I’d like to relate to him are:

  • When his grandad first met him and pressed a large five-shilling piece into his tiny hand.
  • Hearing the reaction of his paternal grandparents over the phone as they looked at a picture of him for the first time

Anyway, enough of the soppy stuff. Thomas has started crying with more dedication lately… all as it should be, and still no way near unbearable. I can see why people get so stressed out though, you do feel a bit helpless if you’ve tried everything you can think of that might be upsetting him, and can’t soothe him.

I’m using the advice from this website a lot: babycentre.co.uk and still reading far too many books about babies. I’m not so sure about the “4th trimester theory” though – Thomas doesn’t seem to agree with it, so I think I’ll follow him on this one!

My goal to get out of the house every day has suffered a bit… both today and yesterday we didn’t make it. However, one of the books says you just take each day as it comes, and if you have to, even each hour. Getting out for a walk is good for you but spending time at home getting used to each other is always valuable, and ALL the books tell you to make sure you don’t start beating yourself up about not achieving things you, or other people, think you “should” be achieving.

My favourite quote on this subject is:
“If a certain book or person is making you feel guilty, avoid them. (I burnt one nameless book in my back garden when I read in it that a ‘clever’ mother shouldn’t have to get up more than once q night if she juggles the times of feeds and anticipates her baby’s crying at night. You might think it feels bad and wicked to burn a book. It felt FANTASTIC.” From The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth

Anyway, I’d better stop and pick another chore and try to weigh up it’s necessity vs sleep. I’ll leave you with a parting picture which must be from around 2 weeks old:

thomas

2005
11.12

3 weeks old…

So Thomas and I have known each other for 22 days now, and I can definitely feel that he is starting to believe in me… that is to say, I think he can tell whether it’s me or some stranger off the street holding him.

I haven’t been posting much lately, I’m afraid it’s pretty low on the list of priorities at the moment, but I had to post this quote from a book I’m reading about Colic. In the chapter about what sort of things might cause colic he lists a few and writes them off as not plausible. Anyway, he mentions the nurture vs nature argument and states:

“It is now widely accepted that many personality traits are direct genetic hand-me-downs from our parents. For this reason, shy parents usually have shy children, and passionate parents tend to have babies who are little chilli peppers”.

How cute – though, I’m sure I’ve never been passionate about anything, so any random crying fits must all come from David! 😉

(In fairness to the author, he does state that temperament is not likely to be a main cause of colic).

The book, if you’re interested, is “The Happiest Baby” by Dr Harvey Karp Happiest Baby on the Block, the I seem to have a british edition.

I think Thomas is pretty good so far – he only gets a bit crabby in the evening, when, frankly, we all are. The books warn that this gets worse up to about 6 weeks, and then better again, hopefully disappearing by 3 months.

As I read all these books it seems impossible that Thomas has only been around for 3 little weeks. So I think it’s fair that he and I should both have a random weep into a muslin square once in a while, both a bit overwhelmed at the chaotic newness of our situations!